Sabbath day in Tonga

For the most part, the Sabbath day is strictly observed in Tonga.  Businesses are closed and no one does any work in the fields.  Knowing that all would be quiet the first day we got here, our hotel staff kindly placed a basket in our room with plates of fresh fruits and enough basic food stuffs to get us through Sunday.  We had cornflakes for breakfast with juice and toast.  For lunch we made cups of noodle soup.  Later in the evening the hotel  restaurant  opened back up so we were able to get dinner there.

The milk came from New Zealand, the juice from Egypt and the noodle soup from Indonesia. The reality of living on a small island in the Pacific is most all goods must be shipped in.

Sabbath observance is considered so important in Tonga that it has been codified into law.

In Tonga's Constitution, part six of the Declaration of Rights reads: 

Sabbath Day to be kept holy The Sabbath Day shall be kept holy in Tonga and no person shall practise his trade or profession or conduct any commercial undertaking on the Sabbath Day except according to law; and any agreement made or witnessed on that day shall be null and void and of no legal effect.[1] 

The following from a book on Tonga summarizes what is and isn't permissible in Tonga on Sunday (at least, presumably, in 2001, when the book was published): 

Buses don't operate, businesses are closed, sports events are prohibited and planes may not land. Contracts signed on Sunday are considered null and void and any Tongan caught fishing or guilty of any other breach of the Sabbath is subject to a T$10 fine or three months' hard labour. Even swimming at the beach is a no-no on Sunday for Tongans. 

Bakeries are the only shops allowed to open on Sunday afternoon thanks to an emergency law that was enacted after a devastating cyclone in the 1980s and never repealed. A few restaurants and tourist facilities open and the odd taxi is available, but that's about it. What most people do on Sunday is go to church.[2]

( from theonomyresources.blogspot.com)

That sort of law would never stand in a pluralistic society like the United States.  Still, I cannot help but consider how my own country could be more abundantly blessed if more of our people - at least the ones that claim to follow Jesus Christ - would be more conscientious about keeping the Sabbath day sacred. In most communities in the USA Sunday is a day for recreation and many businesses are open, catering to weekend shoppers or travelers.  It is very common for many Christian people to leave church and then go directly to a restaurant for Sunday brunch. Elder Cook made a good point that how we observe the Sabbath day is a personal covenant between each individual and God - so the church will not give lists of do's and don'ts.  But we are each encouraged to carefully reflect on whether our actions and thoughts on the Sabbath day are in keeping with what the Lord would have us do, be and become.  Doing business that is not essential is something I think we all need to do better at avoiding.

The church service we attended here in Nuku'alofa was a Stake Conference broadcast that went out to the entire Pacific.  We were able to wear headphones that gave us an English translation of what the speakers were saying.  The original broadcast had been taped in English and then later translated to all the various languages of the islands.  So we got the original voices that matched what the people on the screen were actually saying.

The whole emphasis of the conference was on the importance of the Sabbath day and on the ordinance of the sacrament.  The speakers were  Elder James J. Hamula of the First Quorum of the Seventy, Linda K. Burton, General Relief Society President and Elder Quentin L. Cook,  a member of the Twelve Apostles.

James Hamula had spent 5 years serving in the Pacific as Area President.  He knows this part of the world very well.  He spoke of the mighty storms we have here, such as the recent cyclone that devastated Vanuatu.  He talked about how the observance of the Sabbath and faithfully partaking of the sacrament are principles of protections no matter how fierce the storms of life may be. 


There are some jobs that will always need to be done on Sundays.  But as we move closer to truly setting the Sabbath day aside as the Lord's day, we will open up windows to particular blessings we can find no other way.

We are in TONGA!

As much as we love living and serving in New Zealand, one of the best parts of our mission as Pacific Area Family History Support missionaries is that we get to travel to the island nations of the South Pacific. We love the Polynesian people!

For the next 9 days we will be on the main island of the Kingdom of Tonga which is called Tongatapu.  Tonga is an archiIpelago located in the South Pacific Ocean. It lies directly south of Western Samoa and about two-thirds of the way from Hawaii to New Zealand. Tonga is made up of 176 islands that are scattered over 270,000 square miles of the South Pacific Ocean. (Only about 57 of those are populated).  The country is known as the Friendly Islands because of the warm welcome and hospitality accorded to Captain James Cook on his first visit to the island in 1773. The total land covered by Tonga is 289 square miles. As of 2010, the country has an estimated population of 104,000. (Information from mapsoftheworld.com)

Although we are getting more practiced at international travel, we still get a little rattled as we navigate through the process of filling out exit forms, going through customs and getting to where ever we need to be.

When we arrived in Tonga on Saturday night (May 16) we were hot, tired, and a little disoriented.

As we waited in line to get our passports stamped we noticed a young man in the line next to wearing a Tshirt from Idaho State College.  We tried to ask him where he got the shirt and if he knew about Idaho, but he did not speak any English.  Still, we had to smile, believing this was just one of the many ways that God was reaching out to us to remind two senior missionaries from Idaho that He is mindful of us and that we were arriving right where He wanted us to be.

What Do Angels Look Like?

The concept of angels and what they look like is one that has always interested me. In popular culture there are all sorts of images of winged creatures that live in the clouds. I have a little bit different take on what angels are and the role they play in my life.

According to "What Christians Want To Know",

"Nowhere in the Bible are angels described like the pictures, paintings, or figurines of little baby cherub angels with wings that we so often see. Michael and Gabriel are archangels and they are anything but little and cute. They are powerful agents and messengers of God that are formidable in their own right. Angels are not effeminate looking and resembling beautiful women with wings. These are man made concoctions and do not come from the Bible. Even Satan, a fallen angel and a powerful one at that does not have horns and a pitchfork. He was perhaps the most beautiful and splendid angel ever created by God and of the highest order, but his pride caused his downfall and God caste him from heaven (Ezekiel chapter 14 and 28)".

Over on LDS.ORG it says:

"There are two kinds of beings in heaven who are called angels: those who are spirits and those who have bodies of flesh and bone. Angels who are spirits have not yet obtained a body of flesh and bone, or they are spirits who have once had a mortal body and are awaiting resurrection. Angels who have bodies of flesh and bone have either been resurrected from the dead or translated.

There are many references in scripture to the work of angels. Sometimes angels speak with a voice of thunder as they deliver God’s messages (Mosiah 27:11–16). Righteous mortal men may also be called angels (JST, Gen. 19:15)".

...

That last line is the part I have been thinking about, because yesterday I had an angel come by my office with a clear and direct answer to a heartfelt prayer.

Recently I have been pondering and praying how to best carry out my calling as a Family History Support missionary specifically as it relates to the Area Presidency's goal to implement the My Family 15 program throughout the Pacific.

We have shared the goal and instructions to stake leaders throughout many countries. Now we are trying to gather reports back about how the initiative is going. Some of the stakes have done a great job of motivating their councils to all get active in entering family information into FamilySearch.org and to do the available temple ordinances for their deceased ancestors. Some have struggled, so we are looking for ways to better instruct and encourage them. The hardest ones to know how to respond to are those who simply do not turn in any reports. They may be doing the actual work. Or not. We just don't know because there are some areas that despite repeated requests in person, by phone and through email, they simply do not turn in any information about how the program is going in their areas. That has been really frustrating to me.

So recently I have made this a serious matter of prayer to know what the best way might be to approach the leaders from the stakes who are not reporting. I have poured out my heart in faith, and I fully expected that the Lord would provide an answer. I just didn't know how that answer would come.

Then yesterday, one of the other senior missionaries, Elder Dirk Cotterell from Draper, Utah, came by our office. He and his wife work on the third floor of the Pacific Area Office, same as us, but they are on the other side of the building so we don't often casually run into them. However, on that occasion Elder Cotterell stopped by to say hello and tell us how much he appreciated the lesson we had taught at Monday night's Family Home Evening. He talked about how it motivated him to act, to write stories about his life. He asked me to specifically hold him accountable by following up with him when I saw him again to ask him how it was going.
He then shared a special passage about follow up from page 196 in the inspired book "Preach My Gospel":
"You can show your love for the people and your faith in God's promises by following up to help them repent and keep their commitments." Then over on page 200 it says: "Compliment and encourage people who are succeeding...Sincerely and frequently praise them. Express your gratitude for their progress and your confidence that they can succeed. Encourage them whenever you are with them. Express concern and disappointment when people fail to keep their commitments and thus fail to experience the blessings."

I actually got goose bumps as he shared this with us because I felt the Holy Ghost bearing witness to me that this was a direct answer to my earlier prayer.

I do not need to nag the people who are not sending in reports. I do not need to get discouraged or chastise anyone. All I need to do is love them. As I increase in sincere love for the good people we are working with throughout the Pacific, and as I increase my faith in God's promises, I will have greater power to bear witness to the blessings they will receive as they follow through with doing what the Lord has asked them to do through the challenge made by the Area Presidency, for truly, as it says in D&C 21:5  For his word ye shall receive, as if from mine own mouth, in all patience and faith.

Pacific Area Presidency leading by example, showing their completed 15 in 15 Pedigree Charts

I am so grateful to have the opportunity to associate with these great leaders here in the Area Office. I am also grateful for all the righteous missionaries whose testimonies and example strengthen me. Today I am especially grateful for Elder Dirk Cotterell, who lives his life in tune with the Holy Spirit in such a way that he could be put in the right place at the right time and be inspired to say just the right things to be an angel to me, one bringing forth in a very personal way a direct answer to my prayers.

Angels are real. Sometimes they work in your same office building.

Scriptures about angels:

Jacob saw angels of God ascending and descending:Gen. 28:12;
Angels of God met Jacob:Gen. 32:1–2;
Gideon saw an angel of the Lord face to face:Judg. 6:22;
An angel stretched out his hand upon Jerusalem to destroy it:2 Sam. 24:16;
An angel touched Elijah and said to him, Arise and eat:1 Kgs. 19:5–7;
Daniel saw the angel Gabriel in a vision:Dan. 8:15–16;
The angel Michael helped Daniel:Dan. 10:13;
The angel Gabriel was sent from God:Luke 1:19, 26–27;
The devil’s angels will be reserved in chains unto the judgment:Jude 1:6; ( 2 Pet. 2:4; )
People saw angels descending out of heaven:3 Ne. 17:24;
Moroni wrote about the ministering of angels:Moro. 7:25–32;
The Aaronic Priesthood holds the keys of the ministering of angels:D&C 13;

Family Home Evening

Since its earliest days the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has emphasized the importance of strong families and gospel teaching in the home.   That basic part of LDS culture and doctrine was formalized somewhat in 1915 by Joseph F. Smith when the first presidency of the church stated:

"We advise and urge the inauguration of a "Home Evening' throughout the Church, at which time fathers and mothers may gather their boys and girls about them in the home and teach them the word of the Lord…. This "Home Evening' should be devoted to prayer, singing hymns, songs, instrumental music, scripture-reading, family topics and specific instruction on the principles of the Gospel, and on the ethical problems of life, as well as the duties and obligation of children to parents, the home, the Church, society, and the Nation" (IE 18 [June 1915]:733). To assist parents in their stewardship, the first home evening manual was prepared that same year and distributed to members of the Church."
 See  Encyclopedia of Mormonism:


However, many associate teachings about FHE with David O McKay, who  reminded parents that "No other success can compensate for failure in the home"  during the April 1964 general conference.  IE 67 [June 1964]:445).


Again, according to Encyclopedia of Mormonism:  " In 1965, the weekly Family Home Evening program was more fully implemented, and a lesson manual was given each family to aid parents in teaching their children. Families were encouraged to participate in a home night once each week, which could consist of scripture reading, singing, and activities suited to the ages of the children. In 1966, stakes were urged to set aside a regular night for Family Home Evening and to avoid scheduling Church activities on that night. In 1970, Monday evening was designated as Family Home Evening, Churchwide, with no competing ecclesiastical functions to be held. Revised home evening manuals, with suggested weekly lessons and activities, were provided from 1965 to 1984"

Some families instituted very structured Family Night rituals with each member of the family being given specific assignments.   Others opted for a more casual approach, simply reserving one night each week for family activities with no outside commitments.

Prophetic Promises for FHE:
In 1966 David O McKay stated:"Great blessings come to those who carry out this responsibility. Last year’s lessons have brought many families closer to one another, and have brought a great measure of peace and harmony in many homes. We feel to say to you again, with our love and earnest assurances, that the Lord will grant rich blessings to all who will prayerfully and sincerely carry out this program.”
Since that time many prophets and other church leaders have continued to emphasize the importance of Family Home Evening and to give very specific promises to those who will make this a priority in their homes.   Among those promises include the following blessings:

Love at home will increase – Obedience to parents will increase – Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth – The youth will gain power to combat the evil influences and temptations which beset them – A greater measure of peace and harmony in the home – Will bring families closer together – Families will be blessed with better feelings between husband and wife and all family members – Couples will receive strength – Not one in a hundred of your family will go astray – Deeply increases personal worth, family unity, and love for our fellow man, and trust in our Heavenly Father.

(See Priesthood Manual Lesson 13: "Strengthening the Family Through Family Home Evening".)

My mother tried her very best to bring Family Home Evening into our family when I was a young girl.  Having converted to the LDS faith the year before I was born, she was determined to follow the council of the prophets to the best of her ability.  However, with no support at all from her husband and plenty of struggle with her wild brood of kids, it was pretty hit or miss how it happened at our house.

When Larry and I were raising our children, we were more regular about having FHE than I had experienced growing up, but we were far from consistent.   Still, we have some great memories and even a few special art projects from those long ago FHE nights.

But what is a "Family"?   What if there are no kids, or if the children are just babies or toddlers, or if they have special needs?

We have learned that Family Home Evening can be adapted to suit the needs of ANY family - from a person living alone, to a room mate situation among singles to Senior Couples whose children have moved away or any other living arrangement.

While living in Boise, we held "Empty Nester" FHE  at our home once a month, gathering together friends from our ward who, like us, no longer had children at home.  We definitely developed a greater sense of love and unity with each other through this.   Here in the mission field we get together with the other Senior Elders & Sisters twice a month, taking turns providing a short lesson and a light meal, filling us all both spiritually & physically.

Some Family Home Evenings are more focused on spiritual things.  Some are practical or just plain fun.

This week, Larry and I were in charge of the lesson for the Family Home Evening with the other Senior Missionaries.   We talked about writing personal histories and other ways of preserving special memories.   It went really well.  Afterward we had a light supper of split pea soup, salad and rolls with yummy bar cookies for desert.  (We made the soup, other missionaries did the salad and dessert, so it was a team effort).   

We really have come to love the missionaries that we get to work with here.   For now, they are like our family.   

I know all too well what a challenge it can be to carve out the time and energy to get everyone in the family together for Family Home Evening on a regular basis. But I also know the promises we have been given are real.   I hope with all my heart that my sons and grandchildren will get those blessing.  Families matter.  As the world we are living in gets increasingly chaotic and unsure, strong families are more important than they have ever been.

Giving Feedback

One of the responsibilities we have in our mission is to gather and distribute the Priesthood Key Indicator (PKI) Reports.   These are a monthly report we get from FamilySearch.org which shows data for  how many members of the church are submitting family names for temple ordinances and how many  have put four generations of information into the Trees website.  It is a measuring stick for the degree of engagement the people in a particular area have with doing family history.   

We get reports on a stake level which compare each of the wards or branches within that stake.  These get forwarded on to the Stake Presidents and to the Area Advisors.   We also get reports  by region (such as the Auckland Coordinating Council which includes quite a few different stakes, or for the whole Pacific Area) to track how the work that month compares to the previous month and for patterns over the previous year.

The part of the work that takes a lot of time is making sure the right reports are getting sent to the right leaders, and crafting the proper sort of message to each one to go along with the charts they receive.

The reports are a combination of line carts and columns of numbers. Not everyone easily understands the way the data is shown.  For instance, there is a column showing this month's numbers and a column showing the amount of change there had been since the previous month.   Red numbers in the column representing change mean  the change is going down instead of up.  Some who we send these reports to didn't understand that at first.

That means part of our job is to explain the data in a way that it makes sense to the person receiving it, helping them to understand what each section of the report is telling them as it relates to their folks.  Keep in mind we do this for people in quite a few different countries with different native languages, with a wide diversity in cultural and educational background.

Inevitably, some of the regions are doing a fantastic job, with robust family history programs that indicate much faith and enthusiasm among their members.   Some are not.   One of our challenges is knowing how to kindly encourage leaders from those regions where nothing much is going on at all.

As I do this, I have been thinking a lot about how we give feedback in our daily lives.   To what extent to we look for opportunities to praise people for their efforts, even when, or perhaps especially when, they have not met a standard or level we wanted them to?

I also think of all the different markers we use to measure our "success" in the various areas of life, such as:
   *  the number on the scale to see if we are too fat or too thin.
   *  the number on our bank statement to assess if we have plenty of money or feel poor.
   *  the number on school grades to determine how smart or skilled we are

In many things it makes sense to look at some sort of objective measuring line to give us feedback information of how we are doing moving toward a particular goal.

But after teaching for 20 years I am all too aware that no single grade on any particular test can really say how smart or how prepared or how capable that students is.   I also know that when I look at the number of pounds or kilos that show on my bathroom scale that doesn't even come close to telling the whole story of how healthy I am.

Likewise, as we work today to send out these emails all over the Pacific responding to the numbers we see on the latest PKI reports, we want to stay mindful that these good people are often doing the very best they can, even when the numbers show backsliding or no progress.  The reports do inform us of specific areas where we might offer more training or encouragement.   But in no way at all can we ever fall into the trap of thinking high marks on one of these reports mean that area of members are "better" than those who may have gone flatline in their numbers.

The data matters, and is a helpful tool as we work to strengthen leaders and members in the Pacific Area, helping them to catch the vision of the importance of family history work.   But it is not the whole story by a long shot.

Mother's Day - Polynesian Style

To celebrate Mother's Day, the men in Auckland 1st &  2nd Ward put on a lovely dinner and evening of fun for all the mothers

There was a DJ to play music and plenty of DANCING!

But best of all was simply the opportunity for these wonderful sisters from many different cultures to gather together in friendship and love.   The ward we are in now has members from Samoa, Tonga, Niue, Cook Islands and some who grew up right here in New Zealand.  But no matter what their background or heritage, they display more unity and love for each other than I think I've ever seen in any place I've ever been.   It reminds me of the passage in the Book of Mormon in 4 Nephi 1:15-17  that says:

 15 And it came to pass that there was no contention in the land, because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people.

 16 And there were no envyings, nor strifes, nor tumults, nor whoredoms, nor lyings, nor murders, nor any manner of lasciviousness; and surely there could not be a happierpeople among all the people who had been created by the hand of God.

 17 There were no robbers, nor murderers, neither were there Lamanites, nor any manner of -ites; but they were in one, the children of Christ, and heirs to the kingdom of God.

Truly, there are some great women in this congregation.  I look forward to getting to know them better.

A legacy of women

As we will be celebrating mother's day tomorrow, I've been thinking a lot about the women in my family - about the challenges they faced, the things they accomplished, the legacy they left me.

I knew three generations of women in my mother's family and heard stories of those who went before:

Nancy Krebs Pendley (1930-1983)

Florence Kurtz Krebs (1907-1988)

Gertrude Young Kurtz (

Anna Harvey Young (1953-1892)

Ann Bell Harvey (1811-1901)

I know far less about the women in my dad's line, but have many memories of my grandmother, for whom I was given my middle name.  I'm continuing to learn what I can about the women who came before her.

Jane Hutchinson Pendley(1903-1979)
Taken at Slide Rock in 1954

Edith Thomas Hutchinson (1873-1910)

Caroline Goss Thomas (1829 - 1896)

I also think about my granddaughters- Kaylie, Alex and Chesilee-  and wonder what their lives will be like - if they will be mothers and if so, what challenge they may face:

The role and expectations for women has changed a great deal over time.  The opportunities open to me and the responsibilities I shouldered have been incredibly different from those of my grandmother and great grandmother, let alone those who went before.  The world my grand-daughters are growing up in is shifting even more.   And yet, in some ways we are all very much the same.  We all long to be loved, to have our families be safe, to make our mark in the world.

As women we learn we can do hard things.  We learn that feelings matter.  We learn how we care for each other - our mothers and our daughters, shapes and defines who we are.

I never raised a daughter.   While I do have a sister who is precious to me now, she was younger, so most of my growing up was more influenced the the brothers born on either end of my arrival.  I have often joked that growing up with brothers and raising only son I have no idea what it is like to live in a house with the toilet seat down.

But through my relationship with my sister, my granddaughters, and innumerable friends I have learned much about the power of bonds between women that I never fully appreciated with my own mother.

So when I celebrate mothers day it is for all the powerful girls and women in my life and those in the generations who came before.   These relationships have blessed me in more ways than I can say.