The Power of Friendship

Jeff & Alice Walker in 1983
When they came with us to the
Washington DC Temple

One of the last things we did before leaving the USA was go visit our dear friends in Orem, Jeff and Alice Walker.   We love their family more than we can say!

We first met the Walkers in 1982 when we were both living in Ohio.   They were my very first LDS friends.  

Although I was raised in the church and was baptized when I was eight, my family was not strong in the church and I fell away in my youth.   From the time I was 13 until around 24, I really didn't think of myself as being "Mormon" at all.  Had anyone asked me, I would have said that was my mother's church.  I did not think it would ever have anything to do with me.

However, when Larry and I got together, Ray Bigler - the Bishop who married us - gave us a subscription to Ensign magazine as a wedding present.   Always an avid reader, I was happy to receive it and took interest in the articles each month.   Knowing my new husband came from a strong LDS family with pioneer heritage, I was interested to learn more about his beliefs.

Over time I started reading other LDS information and books.   I still did not have any real belief in the teachings, but I was ready to learn more.  By the time we moved from Arizona to Ohio in February of 1982 my curiosity had begun to open up to a genuine desire to know if the things I was learning about were more than just interesting stories.  I wanted to know if it was true.

However, having been living apart from the church for such a long time, I wasn't at all sure how comfortable I would be with the the Latter-day Saint people socially.  My approach to life had been very, very different than LDS Church standards.  My beliefs, habits, and overall outlook had taken me down a very different road.  No matter what I came to think about the teachings of the faith, would I ever feel like I "fit in" with these people?    I definitely had my doubts.

And then I met Jeff and Alice Walker.   To say that I was "rough around the edges" is a gross understatement for that period of my life.  Yet they welcomed me into their home and into their hearts.  Alice and I became close friends right from the start.   We did not have a lot in common.  But it didn't matter.  She was my spiritual sister.  She was my dear friend.   And that has never changed.

The Walker Family
Red headed "Dawn" was a babe in arms when our friendship began

Though we both have moved to different parts of the country and have gone through a lot of ups and downs in our lives since those early days back in Ohio, sometimes going years between speaking to one another, the torch of our friendship has continued burning bright.

And now there is another layer to that friendship.  When I met Alice, her daughter, A. Dawn, was just a baby in arm.   Today that little baby has grown up into a remarkable woman with children of her own.   I enjoy all of Jeff and Alice's children very much.  Dawn, however, is the "marker baby" that has always been the line in time of how long we've known their family.  Beyond that she's just a genuinely nice person who I have enjoyed getting to know as an adult.   Having the chance to visit with her too while we were in Orem was icing on the cake.

As Elder Bennett and I rode the train back to Salt Lake from Orem I was reflecting a lot over the power this friendship has had on my life over the years.

In speaking about what new members of LDS faith require in order to continue in the gospel, Gordon B. Hinkley once said:  "Every one of them needs three things: a friend, a responsibility, and nurturing with “the good word of God” (Moro. 6:4). It is our duty and opportunity to provide these things."  (April 1997)
 
I know that for me, all of those things mattered a lot.   I do not know that I would have had the strength to make the transition from my worldly ways to living the standards of the LDS faith without the love and acceptance of my good friend Alice.   She has truly been a pivotal person in my life.

I have been blessed over the years to have her in my heart.  Jeff and Alice went with us as witnesses when Elder Bennett and I were sealed for time and all eternity in the Washington DC temple.   We were there for them (spiritually and emotionally if not always in person) during some of the big challenges they faced.    Through all our long, convoluted journeys of life, this friendship has mattered tremendously.

During the 20 years I was teaching sociology in various community colleges across the country I used to tell my students that human beings are "hard wired" to require social relationships.  Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, to some degree or another, we all need other people.  I need them ferociously.   Friends matter a lot to me in order for me to feel at peace in this world.   I have been so fortunate to have found some mighty good friends.

Staying Teachable

I've been reflecting back on all I learned in our trainings to prepare for this mission.  There was so much content that really was helpful.  Some of the most important lessons, however, were things I gleaned outside the planned curriculum.

One I hope never to forget came from watching one of our trainers handle a situation with grace and patience that could have been very frustrating.  

Another came from my own response when we were told on Wednesday that a half day of computer training had been scheduled for us on the the following day.   Originally, we were only supposed to have classes in Salt Lake for three days.  Part of that was based on information we had filled out ahead of time to let them know what our current skill levels were.   Some missionaries get computer training if they have little experience using systems.  Others get FamilySearch training so they will be well equipped to use the church's online family history program. 

Since both Elder Bennett and I have used computers extensively in our professions, and we just went through three weeks of focused training on FamilySearch and other tools at the Mesa Library, it had been determined we really did not need training in Salt Lake for those things.

For some reason, once we got here, someone along the food chain of planning decided to schedule us for a half day of computer training on Thursday after all.  I have to admit, initially I grumbled.   I thought it was going to be a bit of a waste of my time.  We have only a few days left in this country.  I had been looking forward to taking Thursday to do some other things.  I couldn't imagine what they were going to teach me in that half day that would be of value.  However,  we have made a very conscious decision to be as obedient as possible throughout this mission, even if some of the things we are asked to do feel silly or not a good use of  our time.  So I took a deep breath and did my very best to open my heart and mind to learn whatever was there for me.
  
When we showed up at 8:00 AM on Thursday for the computer training, the first hour was watching a video of a talk given by a former mission president about the difference between genealogy and family history.   My grumbly self was REALLY ready to kick in then. While I was sure it was well intended, I could think of a lot of things I would rather be doing.

But I reminded myself about my commitment to stay open, to be as teachable as possible at every point throughout this training.  Rather than take the attitude that I had nothing to gain from this presentation, I said a silent prayer that I might be open to whatever it was that Heavenly Father wanted me to learn from this.  Then I quit fidgeting and really started paying attention.

And then the miracle came.  What previously had seemed like just one more talk in a long series of talks by various leaders that we had been listening to, shifted.   The presentation began to feel very much like a powerful message that was meant specifically for us that was absolutely relevant to the mission we will be serving.   Several of the things that were said in the presentation were wonderful.  But more than that, the feelings I got confirming the truth of what was being taught were so incredibly powerful that I could not help but weep.

Out of all the training we have received, both at the MTC in Provo and here during our sessions in Salt Lake, this talk brought everything together in a way that I knew would be essential for me as we teach people in New Zealand.  My understanding of my purpose on this entire mission transformed.   It was incredible.

After the video ended, we were each assigned to different trainers for a few hours of one-on-one mentoring.    My trainer was Sister Potter.   She determined pretty quickly that I knew how to use FamilySearch and was comfortable with the basic functions.   So she moved ahead to show me other things - key command short cuts, etc that really will help me be more effective in how I use these tools.  She also showed me some things specific to my own family tree in the program that were important for me to know.  I learned very valuable stuff that will help me in the days to come.

Sister Nelda Potter

Beyond that, we quickly developed a rapport that warmed my heart.  I was able to show her a thing or two - some that I had learned from my training in Mesa, some from how I have set up my various family history blogs.  We laughed together.  We shed some tears together. In that very short time we opened up to each other at a level that my heart was hungry for.   I found a friend that I hope to stay in touch with for a long, long time.

When I think that I might have skipped out on this training because I thought I already knew everything I needed to know about how to operate FamilySearch and use a computer, I am chagrined.  This experience serves as an important reminder to me how critical it is that I continue to recognize that no matter how experienced I may be in any area, there is always more to learn.  I want to stay humble, stay teachable, stay open to the spirit so that I can be a better servant in this mission.  I also see how my own life is more richly blessed when I put my own pride and ego aside and trust that the spirit will lead me where I need to be.

Recognizing Tender Mercies

In the LDS faith, we often hear people talk about "Tender Mercies".  By this we mean the very specific, personal blessings we receive that show us that the Lord is aware of us personally and knows our needs.

In an address given in April 2005 by Elder David Bednar he said:

"Through personal study, observation, pondering, and prayer, I believe I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits “his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men” (D&C 46:15)."

Our lives have been overflowing with tender mercies of late.   Sometimes they are big.  Sometimes they can come as such an ordinary part of life that they are easy to overlook.  I'm working hard to stay mindful, to recognize these blessings as they come, and to give thanks in prayer for every one I can.

Some of the easy to overlook blessings have been things like

having a train come just as we get to the stop so we don't have to wait in the wind.  Having the UTA Trax system available to get us around has been great.

Beyond that, the very mild weather we have had all this week is very unseasonable for this time of year in Salt Lake.  I had fully expected to be trudging back and forth in sleet or snow.   I have not done much trudging and there has been no snow!

Then today, as we were leaving our final training, we had several delays before we were able to get on an elevator.  The building we are training is is VERY busy this time of year because of all the high school choirs that are performing and lots of extra people coming and going.

However, because of those delays, when we finally did get into an elevator (which was VERY crowded with people), I looked up to see a familiar looking face smiling down at me.

Sam Quantz is the youngest son of a family we were dear friends with when we were members of the Paw Paw Branch in the Kalamazoo Stake back in Michigan from 1986 - 1997.  Elder Bennett used to play guitar in a band called "Looking Back" with Sam's father, Scott.

What are the chances that in a city this size, in a building this busy, we would "just happen" to run in to this old friend?   Then, what are the chances we would recognize him AND remember his name - after all it has been 17 yrs since we saw him last and he was just a little kid then.

But the minute I saw him all the warm feelings of our friendship with him family came rushing back to me. I DID recognized him and remember him right away.  It was a reminder to me as I am preparing to leave my home and country for two years in a far away land that the friendships I have now that are very dear to me will not diminish during our absence.  The people who truly love us will not forget us.  Yes, we will miss them, a lot.  But our friendship will remain when we return.

I could go on and on with blessing little and big that we have encountered during the past weeks and months as we have prepared for this mission.  Truly, we feel wrapped up in the caring embrace of a loving Heavenly Father who is aware of us personally.  We can't wait to see how the next chapter will unfold.

The Italian Connection

Italian Flag image from https://familysearch.org/italy

Photo from Church News HERE

One of the things we learned about in our training today was about how church officials negotiate with governments all over the world to get access to their official archives - things like birth, marriage and death records, census, and other such information.

In 2011, the Church formalized
agreements with Italy to allow FamilySearch volunteers and missionaries to  digitally preserve and provide online access to the entire civil registration collection (birth, marriage, and death records) of Italy from 1802 to 1940.  This represents a huge contribution both to the church genealogical resources and to the Italian government.  "This is over 115 million pages of historic documents and over 500 million names!” (Zentino. 2012).  According to the training we had today, right now there are 34 camera teams in Italy who are continuing to digitize records there.  Over the next five years we can look forward to many millions more records becoming available online.

This matters to me because I have a grandson with Italian heritage.  One of my goals is to help Jacob trace his ancestry back to that country and find the village or city where his family came from.  Having these records digitally available will help me to do that.  

Also, because of today's training, I now have additional help.  I met with Sister Ornella Lepore, an Italian woman who works for the Family History department at church headquarters.  She can help connect me with people in her department who can point me in the right direction for understanding Italian records and refer me to others who could translate original records I am unable to read.   Meeting her was a true answer to prayer.

In so many ways the training we are receiving to help us better bless the lives of the people we will be serving in New Zealand is enriching our own lives, and we have barely begun.  For years I have heard that serving a mission brings great blessings, both to those who are serving and to their families.  My experience so far has been living proof of those promises.

Handbooks of Instruction

From Church News reports of world wide training to introduce new Handbooks of Instruction
See HERE for article and links to the handbooks.

In our training yesterday we talked about how the family history department of the church fits in to the larger pictures of all that the LDS church is about.

In 2010, the Church introduced two new Handbooks of Instruction, the guiding documents that help people at all levels of the church better understand what our purpose is and how to go about accomplishing the various roles assigned to us.

The whole reason the Church exists is to bring individuals and families to Christ. EVERY single activity we do in the capacity of our callings should support that in some way.

Still, I really like how it is stated in the Handbook which was presented to the church membership in a worldwide training broadcasts and then further explained and disseminated through lots of print media.

"In fulfilling its purpose to help individuals and families qualify for exaltation, the Church focuses on divinely appointed responsibilities."

Those responsibilities include the following:

• Helping members live the gospel of Jesus Christ.
  
• Gathering Israel through missionary work.
  
• Caring for the poor and needy.
• Enabling the salvation of the dead by building temples and performing vicarious ordinances. 

This replaces the old "three-fold mission of the church" which was

1. Proclaim the Gospel
2. Perfect the Saints
3. Redeem the Dead

I like the new statement of our purpose so much better.  It includes all of the old, but is stated in a much better way.  I also like that they added the piece about caring for the poor and needy.  That, in my mind, is  key part of living a Christ like life.As I study this inspired, carefully planned handbook I know I can better magnify all my callings in the church as well as better understand my own path to living the gospel. :

SLC Training

Today we started the second phase of our training which is more specific to our particular assignment as Area Family History Support Missionaries in New Zealand.

Elder & Sister Herrmann

Elder and Sister Herrmann have done a fantastic job of putting together the training schedule and communicating with us as we got ready for this mission.  They have served several international missions, in the past.  They are now serving a live-at-home service mission being in charge of training and support for the senior missionaries going on Family History missions.  They have been wonderful.

Sister and Elder Hammer

Elder and Sister Hammer from Indianapolis, Indiana are the other couple in our classes.  They are also doing a family history mission, going to Malaysia.  We got to know them a little bit in the MTC and enjoy them a lot, so it is great to have a chance to spend more time with them.

photo of D. Brimhall from
Granite Genealogy blog

Our training started with a welcome video by Dennis Brimhall, the Director of Family Search.  He has a really big job!   In addition to the six different division of employees, there are also 3600 missionaries worldwide supporting Family History.   Later in the day we ran into the man in person as we were waiting for our elevator when it came time to change rooms, so we got to say hello for real.

A key part of the training was learning specific information about our assigned countries.  Camille McMurtry was the representative for the Pacific.  The information she shared was quite helpful.

Camille had lots of great info about New Zealand

One of the things we learned today that completely shocked me was that as of Nov 17 of this year, FamilySearch had added 1 BILLION new records just in 2014.  I knew the resources were expanding, but  I had no idea how much.

There were so many good things we heard today.  I look forward to hearing what we will have next.

Salt Lake Temple

Lobby of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building

Reflection of Assembly Hall in Deseret Book building across the street

Christmas Devotional

Photo of First Presidency from LDS.org

We had an opportunity to attend the First Presidency Christmas Devotional in the Conference Center which was very special.  In addition to getting to hear the messages in person, we really enjoyed the music by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Orchestra on Temple Square.  The acoustics of that building are absolutely phenomenal! 
 

Video of this and all the other Christmas devotionals going back to 2009 are archived HERE.   I think it's great how the church uses technology to reach out to people and messages.

Photo from https://www.lds.org/church/events/temple-square-lights-2014?lang=eng

As is the tradition, the Temple grounds are all decked out in an amazing display of Christmas lights.

Photo from https://www.lds.org/church/events/temple-square-events/2014-choir-christmas-concert?lang=eng

It's pretty special that as we prepare to leave the country to serve as full time missionaries representing Jesus Christ is a far away land that we are surrounded everywhere by images and sounds that celebrate His birth.  This is our last week in the USA.  I have so many emotions tumbling through me right now.  Feeling very grateful for this opportunity.

Meeting an Apostle of Jesus Christ

We are now in Salt Lake City.  The second part of our training will be classes held in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building which are more specific to our assignment as Area Family History support missionaries.  Some dear people from our ward who have a condo just a few blocks from there have generously invited us to stay at their place in order to make it more convenient for us to go to our classes rather than shuttling back and forth from the MTC each day.  We really appreciate that kindness.

So today we walked down to attend church services with the Salt Lake 18th ward.  There were several things I heard in the lessons that I will continue to ponder on for some time to come.  

And then something rather special happened.  I got to meet and shake hands with Dallin H. Oaks, one of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles.

As Elder David Bednar said in a 2010 interview,  (see here)  apostles are "ordinary men that shoulder an extraordinary responsibility".  


I accept all of the members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles as prophets, seers and revelators, just the same as Ezekiel, Peter, Moses, Nephi, Mosiah or any of the other ancient prophets whose lives and teachings I have studied in the scriptures.

" The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles is the second-highest governing body in the Church (the First Presidency being the highest). Apostles are special witnesses of Jesus Christ, called to teach and testify of Him throughout the world. They travel frequently, addressing and encouraging large congregations of members and interested nonmembers, as well as meeting with local leaders."  (From lds.org - see link above).

I have been privileged over the years to meet many good people through my association with and service in the church.   I really do believe that in the Lord's eyes, any worthy person who is trying their best to fulfill whatever calling they may have is just as special as these men.  God is no respecter of persons.  Still, it is something special to get to personally meet one of the general authorities who I have been listening to in conference sessions for the past 30 yrs.

This afternoon I have been reading several different articles and scriptures about prophets and apostles so I can gain a better understanding about what this special witness means.