Mother's Day - Polynesian Style

To celebrate Mother's Day, the men in Auckland 1st &  2nd Ward put on a lovely dinner and evening of fun for all the mothers

There was a DJ to play music and plenty of DANCING!

But best of all was simply the opportunity for these wonderful sisters from many different cultures to gather together in friendship and love.   The ward we are in now has members from Samoa, Tonga, Niue, Cook Islands and some who grew up right here in New Zealand.  But no matter what their background or heritage, they display more unity and love for each other than I think I've ever seen in any place I've ever been.   It reminds me of the passage in the Book of Mormon in 4 Nephi 1:15-17  that says:

 15 And it came to pass that there was no contention in the land, because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people.

 16 And there were no envyings, nor strifes, nor tumults, nor whoredoms, nor lyings, nor murders, nor any manner of lasciviousness; and surely there could not be a happierpeople among all the people who had been created by the hand of God.

 17 There were no robbers, nor murderers, neither were there Lamanites, nor any manner of -ites; but they were in one, the children of Christ, and heirs to the kingdom of God.

Truly, there are some great women in this congregation.  I look forward to getting to know them better.

A legacy of women

As we will be celebrating mother's day tomorrow, I've been thinking a lot about the women in my family - about the challenges they faced, the things they accomplished, the legacy they left me.

I knew three generations of women in my mother's family and heard stories of those who went before:

Nancy Krebs Pendley (1930-1983)

Florence Kurtz Krebs (1907-1988)

Gertrude Young Kurtz (

Anna Harvey Young (1953-1892)

Ann Bell Harvey (1811-1901)

I know far less about the women in my dad's line, but have many memories of my grandmother, for whom I was given my middle name.  I'm continuing to learn what I can about the women who came before her.

Jane Hutchinson Pendley(1903-1979)
Taken at Slide Rock in 1954

Edith Thomas Hutchinson (1873-1910)

Caroline Goss Thomas (1829 - 1896)

I also think about my granddaughters- Kaylie, Alex and Chesilee-  and wonder what their lives will be like - if they will be mothers and if so, what challenge they may face:

The role and expectations for women has changed a great deal over time.  The opportunities open to me and the responsibilities I shouldered have been incredibly different from those of my grandmother and great grandmother, let alone those who went before.  The world my grand-daughters are growing up in is shifting even more.   And yet, in some ways we are all very much the same.  We all long to be loved, to have our families be safe, to make our mark in the world.

As women we learn we can do hard things.  We learn that feelings matter.  We learn how we care for each other - our mothers and our daughters, shapes and defines who we are.

I never raised a daughter.   While I do have a sister who is precious to me now, she was younger, so most of my growing up was more influenced the the brothers born on either end of my arrival.  I have often joked that growing up with brothers and raising only son I have no idea what it is like to live in a house with the toilet seat down.

But through my relationship with my sister, my granddaughters, and innumerable friends I have learned much about the power of bonds between women that I never fully appreciated with my own mother.

So when I celebrate mothers day it is for all the powerful girls and women in my life and those in the generations who came before.   These relationships have blessed me in more ways than I can say.

The Mushroom Diaries - AKA There is A Fungus Among-Us

We had such a good time at the  Okara Reserve last week that we decided to go back again, this time taking some of our fellow missionary pals with us.  As before, the hike was really lovely:

L to R:  Susan and Gary Winters, Lynda & Larry Bennett, Arendje and Allan Whidden

This time, however, rather than focusing on the birds and the trees as much as we did last week, I paid more attention to the patterns in the undergrowth.

We had noticed a few mushrooms the first time around, but since the recent rain we've been having even more have popped up:

According to the Encyclopedia of New Zealand:

" Mushrooms are the spore-producing structures of some fungi. A mushroom consists of a stalk and a cap, and in most species the spores are formed on gills. When ripe, the spores fall downwards and are carried away from the mushroom on air currents. A spore that lands on a moist surface with nutrients can form a new fungal colony, but must mate with another colony of the same species before a new mushroom can be produced."

Edible or poisonous?

Some New Zealand fungi are edible, while others are unpalatable or poisonous. A few are deadly poisonous and can be easily confused with edible ones. There is no general rule to distinguish them, and tasting is never recommended when searching for edible fungi. Correct identification is essential.

Suffice it to say, we will NOT be eating any of the mushrooms we find, or any of the other forest plant life which is incredibly diverse here  - especially not this very strange thing we were not sure what to think of:

Or this:

Another common sight in the forest here, as in most places, is lichen.

According to Hidden Forest:

"Lichens are made up of two, and some times three, different organisms from three different Kingdoms, which form a symbiotic relationship with each other for their mutual survival.

The dominant member is a ascomycetous fungus (Kingdom Fungi), which is capable of making it's own food. The fungus forms the visible portion of lichen inside of which, and protected by them, are cells of an algae (kingdom Protista) or some times cyanobacteria (Kingdom Monera), once known as blue-green algae. Some lichen can consist of all three organisms at once.

The algae provide nutrients, as they contain the pigment chlorophyll, which it uses during photosynthesis to produce carbohydrates the same way as green plants do. Thus the fungus obtains nutrients from the algae, the fungal tissue in turn provides shelter for the algae allowing it to grow in harsh conditions such as rock surfaces where it would otherwise be destroyed."

Wouldn't it be nice if we human beings could be more like a lichen?  Rather that seeing those who are different from us as outsiders to be feared, ridiculed or despised, why can't we find better ways to partner with each other for our mutual benefit?

"And if a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not vex him.  But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt; I am the Lord your God:"  (Lev 19:24)

Teaching Trees

This tree is a great symbol to me of overcoming adversity.  There is a huge piece of solid rock right beneath where the tree is growing.  But the tree did not allow that to stop it.  Rather, the roots reached out to grow around the sides of the rock to hold the tree firmly in place.  I should have taken a photo of the whole tree.  It's a big one - that just happens to have a big stone right in the heart of its roots.

Rather than be victimized or weakened by the challenges it faced, this tree grew all the stronger by sending its roots around the problem.

Another tree I noticed along the way of our walk today was this one, that showed an abrupt change of direction:

It's almost as if the tree recognized  that it was headed off in the wrong direction, so it did an about face and went the other way so it could grow up tall to catch the sun.   Through the principle of repentance, I too can change directions when I see I am going the wrong way.

There are so many lessons in the forest, if I will just take the time to look for them.

Okura Estuary Reserve

On Saturday Larry and I went hiking in the Okura Estuary Reserve.   When we entered the trail we were at low tide, so it looked like this:

We spent a little over an hour hiking through trails that looked like this:

When we came out of the bush, that trickle of a stream had changed to this:

The tidal changes here are something we have learned to be mindful of.   I'm always a bit amused when we drive across the Harbor bridge at low tide and see all sorts of boats sitting stranded in the mud.  But once the tide comes back in, they are up on top of water again.

According to http://auckland.kingtides.org.nz/about/faqs/

"The tidal range (difference between high and low tide) reaches 1-2 metres on the East Coast and 3.5 – 4 metres on the West Coast. High tide and low tide also occur at different times on Auckland’s East and West Coasts. This is because the tide has to travel from the Waitamata Harbour up and around Northland to reach the Manukau Harbour – a journey that takes about 3½ hours."

While the ups and downs of life are not generally as regular or as predictable as the ocean tides, watching the sea water ebb and flow in these patterns every day has taught me to trust that when I am having low periods I don't need to panic or despair.  If I just hang tight and ride it out, in time the high waters will come again.

What is an Estuary?

Why I don't watch R rated movies

There is a particular movie out that I really would have enjoyed seeing.   The Water Diviner, starred in and directed by Russel Crowe, looks like it would be a very entertaining film.  However, it is rated "R" for mature audiences.   Based on that designation, I will not go see it.   Here is why:

The leaders of my church have set a standard for us not to view R rated movies.  That's really all the reason I need.  However, I have also gained a personal conviction that when I watch material that has profanity, violence, and immorality depicted for the sake of entertainment, I become less sensitive to spiritual feelings.  That is something I do not want to sacrifice, no matter what movies I have to give up.

In a 1997 conference talk, Elder Marvin J. Ashton said:

"As each of us uses our free agency to choose the material that enters our lives, we ought

to recognize that the battle between “Rated A” and “Rated X” is part of the war that began in heaven and is still being fought today. The enemy seeks any strategic or tactical foothold he can gain, and any bridgehead he attains becomes the launching point for the next encounter. The number of victories we allow him can seriously affect the final outcome of the struggle."

Later in that same talk Ashton said: 

 "...you would never eat a meal of spoiled or contaminated food if you could help it, would you? Select your reading and your viewing carefully and in good taste."

That is a succinct way of expressing what I call "the Dog Turd Rule".   Many otherwise fine movies get their "R" rating based on a smattering of profanity or one or two scenes of nudity or graphic violence.  I've been told by some that they can "just ignore" those few "bad" parts in order to enjoy the rest of the film.  To me, that is like showing up for a fancy banquet where a beautiful meal has been served.   The table is set with fine china and exquisite crystal.  The food on the plates is gourmet fare presented with taste and artistry.  However, on the left side of each plate there is one small dog turd. If you showed up at such a meal, could you "just ignore" the feces there on your plate in order to enjoy the rest of the obviously wonderful meal?   Personally, I would not.   For me, if MOST of the plate had beautiful food and just one tiny corner had a piece of dog poop, I would not eat from that plate.

Likewise, I choose not to purposefully go see movies that I know in advance from their rating that they will be desensitizing to the spirit.   I need all the promptings from the Holy Ghost I can possibly invite into my life in order to help me make good decisions.  I do not want to do anything that will drive that spirit away.

When I used to make rules against certain films in our home when my boys were growing up they would sometimes argue:  "Oh Mom, we hear that sort of stuff every day at school.  What's the big deal?" Without question, profanity and obscenity has become an all too frequent part of daily life in many cultures, and that is very true for the United States.  However, I cannot allow the unavoidable exposure to vulgarity that I will see or hear erode the standards I set for my deliberate uses of agency.   What I choose matters.   When the choice is up to me, I want to choose books or movies with a higher standard.  In the 13th Article of Faith, the Prophet Joseph Smith wrote that as Latter-Day Saint we would seek for things that are "virtuous, lovely or of good report, or praiseworthy" (A of F 1:13),

No matter what may be said about the degree to which watching movies with scenes of violence, immorality or other qualities that qualify it for an R rating do or don't effect a person's overall well being,  this I know for sure - the leaders of my faith have repeatedly said we should not watch R rated movies.   That is reason enough for me.   I want to follow the prophets.   I want to obey.

In his 1993 talk "Raising Children in a Polluted Environment"  Joel J. Christensen relayed the following:

President Harold B. Lee said: “We must learn to give heed to the words and

commandments that the Lord shall give through his prophet … [and quoting from the Doctrine and Covenants] ‘as if from mine own mouth, in all patience and faith’ (D&C 21:4–5).” He continued: “There will be some things that take patience and faith You may not like what comes from the authority of the Church. It may contradict your political views. It may contradict your social views. It may interfere with some of your social life. … Your safety and ours depends upon whether or not we follow the ones whom the Lord has placed to preside over his church” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1970, pp. 152–53).

For many people, going along with whatever my church leaders say whether I personally agree with it or not would be considered foolish "blind obedience".   But I see it very differently.  The worlds standards are ever changing.   It is all too easy to get caught up in the current of those shifting standards, to the point that I would, left to my own judgements, choose things that are not in my best interest.  What today seems "normal" and perfectly acceptable would have been considered grossly deviant just a few years ago.   By striving to stand strong with absolute obedience to the standards prophets, seers and revelators have outlined for us, I can be safer, happier, and closer to the spirit.

In a 2013 Talk titled "Obedience to the Law Brings Liberty",  Elder L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said:
God reveals to His prophets that there are moral absolutes. Sin will always be sin. Disobedience to the Lord’s commandments will always deprive us of His blessings. The world changes constantly and dramatically, but God, His commandments, and promised blessings do not change. They are immutable and unchanging. Men and women receive their agency as a gift from God, but their liberty and, in turn, their eternal happiness come from obedience to His laws. As Alma counseled his errant son Corianton, “Wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10).

I am well aware that there are some Rated R movies that are indeed quality films.  I also know there are some PG-13 movies that are absolute garbage.  So I can't just rely on the motion picture industry's rating system to determine what I will or won't watch.   I need to take care in considering what media I take in - including books, magazines and music that have no rating system.

I have not always made great choices in that regard.  Some of the murder mysteries I have so enjoyed reading have characters with foul mouths.   Some of the TV shows I have watched have far too much violence and scenes that glorify lust, even if they don't actually show the outcome.   So I'm working on improving in the choices I make for all media.   But this is one I can for sure stick firmly to - I will not watch any R rated movies, no matter how much potentially great entertainment that means I miss out on.  The blessings of obedience will ALWAYS outweigh any pleasure viewing some film might bring.

SeniorNet-North Shore

Today Larry and I had an opportunity to attend one of the monthly meetings of SeniorNet. We have been asked to give a presentation to their group about how to use FamilySearch at the June meeting.  Today we attended as guests simply to get familiar with the facility and get a feel for the group. What a terrific bunch of folks!

According to their website:

"SeniorNet was founded in the USA in 1986 and Telecom NZ introduced SeniorNet to New Zealand by establishing the first Learning Centre in Wellington in 1992.  SeniorNet North Shore Inc. opened in 1996.

“SeniorNet Inc. is a global non-profit organization based in San Francisco, California.  Begun in 1986, SeniorNet is the world's largest technology trainer of older adults with a mission to provide its members with education for and access to computer and the Internet to enhance their lives and enable them to share their wisdom.  With an  international network of more than 230 Learning Centers staffed by over 5,000  volunteer instructors throughout the world, SeniorNet has educated millions of older adults about computers and the Internet, and continues to grow in numbers and world-wide reputation.”

The presentation today had to do with graphic design and promotion, with the focus being directed toward those who are writing family history books to help them present their stories in a more engaging way.   There were a few tips and tricks that were really intriguing.   

I was impressed by the general feel of the group - about 15 folks (more women than men) ranging in age from 50's to 80's.   I'm not sure what the actual membership numbers are for the club.  Apparently who shows up to any particular meetings depends to some degree on the topic being addressed.  People pick and choose which lessons they want to learn.

However, as one woman told me, some of the old die hard members come no matter what the subject of the presentation.  For many the club has as much social value as it does educational.   That was readily apparent.    One older lady I spoke to just beamed as she interacted with her peers in the gathering, explaining her occasional tendency to forget words and her long time friends' ability to easily guess and supply the word that has eluded her in a seamless flow of friendly chatter.  She said "I'm so old I've gotten silly".

Well, I'm not that old yet, but I'm definitely silly.   So I think we will fit right in with this group.   I look forward to going to future gatherings and learning some new stuff.

This photo of the group was actually taken in June when we went back.  We found them to be a delightful audience and very much enjoyed getting to do the FamilySearch presentation for their group.